


Chaos Magic

by EmuSam



Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Chaos, Double Date, Epistolary, F/M, Infinity, Loki is Schroedinger's Villain, M/M, Magic, Quest, Young!Loki, fem!Peter, transcript
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-09-16
Packaged: 2018-04-19 11:30:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 3,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4744700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmuSam/pseuds/EmuSam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Penny's just trying to help Wanda and Vision get away from an overprotective Tony Stark. Loki might have the idea that they're on a double date. Loki also has unusual ideas about what a date entails. Tony can't let it go, though he might regret programming Friday to have a crush on Captain America.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Paternity Problems](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3789097) by [Blackthorn14](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackthorn14/pseuds/Blackthorn14), [Wikketkrikket](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wikketkrikket/pseuds/Wikketkrikket). 
  * Inspired by [1796 Broadway](https://archiveofourown.org/works/972937) by [rainproof](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainproof/pseuds/rainproof), [teaberryblue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/teaberryblue/pseuds/teaberryblue). 



> This is inspired by Blackthorn14 and Wikketrikket's marvelous epistolary "Paternity Problems," wherein Penelope Parker is Tony Stark's biological daughter and is trying to build a relationship with him while being Spider Man and going to high school. It probably takes place after chapter 215.
> 
> I used rainproof and teaberryblue's "1796 Broadway" for help formatting a phone's spy software eavesdropping.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last words go first.

Dear Tony,

Really, Tony? Really? I thought Ultron was over the top, but you just keep finding new ways to disappoint. Spying on your children? I hope you’re ashamed of yourself. There was some extra commentary attached. I left it in. It serves you right.

Steve.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What Steve received.

 

**Captain Rogers, you asked me to keep you notified regarding risks to your family’s health and welfare. I thought you should be aware that the Boss has me checking up on something.**

**I don’t know how the additions got in there. The Boss’ll probably have me look into that, so I’m already getting a start on it. Look at me, learning to anticipate your needs!**

**The kid’s name isn’t my fault; that’s all on the Boss.**

**Love you lots, Cap!**

**Friday.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What got forwarded to Friday after a brief detour.

_Stark -_

_I have decided to allow this. My deepest wishes for the maximum possible enjoyment._

_\- L_


	4. Chapter 4

** {STARKTECH SURVEILLANCE ACTIVE} **

[DEVICE ID - STARKPHONE.MAXIMOFF.Wanda]

[TIME ID - 42248.784659537]

[LOCATION ID - STARK TOWER LEVEL G]

{{RECORDING}}

[background noise of many people]

** MAXIMOFF.Wanda: ** Penny! Over here!

** PARKER.Penelope.B: ** Wanda! Vision! Hello! Oh, oops, we probably don’t want to be shouting in the lobby if we don’t want my dad to show up. Uh, you-know-who is outside.

** STARK.Vision: ** Greetings, Penny.

** MAXIMOFF.Wanda ** : [laugh] You-know-who? You make him sound like Voldemort.

** PARKER.Penelope.B: ** Okay, okay, let’s just get out of here before we get flagged on the security cameras.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Traveling

**{STARKTECH SURVEILLANCE ACTIVE}**

[DEVICE ID - STARKPHONE.MAXIMOFF.Wanda]

[TIME ID - 42248.8042825579]

[LOCATION ID - NEW YORK CITY - MANHATTAN - IN MOTION]

{{RECORDING}}

 **PARKER.Penelope.B:** Guys, this is Loki. Loki, these are Wanda and Vision. Let’s keep moving. I won’t be happy until we’re away from all the CCTVs. I mean, my jammer’s good, but my dad’s also good, so, you know.

 **LAUFEYSON.Loki:** The witch and the golem. I am honored to meet you.

 **PARKER.Penelope.B:** Uh, Wanda and Vision, not the witch and the golem. That’s kinda … rude, but right, you don’t care about rude. How about you pretend to care about rude for a couple of hours and I’ll pretend like I’m not mad at you over prom and the attack last week. Okay, pretending now, no arguing.

 **STARK.Vision:** I am likewise honored to meet you, Prince Loki.

 **MAXIMOFF.Wanda:** Er, yes, likewise. Thank you for helping us, Penny. It is difficult to have a conversation when there is always Tony Stark hovering in the room.

 **PARKER.Penelope.B:** And pretending he’s not hovering! I know, he even does it when you are literally miles away. It must be worse when you share living quarters with him instead of just a building.  … So are you like …  my brother?

 **STARK.Vision:** If it is more convenient to you, please consider me a distant cousin. It is perhaps most accurate to say that I am the offspring of JARVIS and Thor, in which case I am your nephew.

 **PARKER.Penelope.B:** My newborn nephew who looks twice my age. Okay. Cool. I can deal. [Nervous laugh.] Do you want to call me Aunt Penny?

 **STARK.Vision:** If that is your wish.

 **PARKER.Penelope.B:** Uh, no. No. Please don’t. I’m just Penny.

 **LAUFEYSON.Loki:** A juster Penny is nowhere to be found on all the city’s streets, and if she be just, she must be fair, though she be only a penny.

 **PARKER.Penelope.B:** Making fun of me by quoting Shakespeare isn’t pretending not to be rude, Loki.

 **LAUFEYSON.Loki:** But I … 


	6. Chapter 6

_ I can hear you roll your eyes from here. Stark, do shut up. _

_ -L _


	7. Chapter 7

**{STARKTECH SURVEILLANCE ACTIVE}**

[DEVICE ID - STARKPHONE.MAXIMOFF.Wanda]

[TIME ID - 42248.8711453088]

[LOCATION ID - DANDY’S COFFEE]

{{RECORDING}}

[background music: ]

 **PARKER.Penelope.B:** Do you want this seat?

 **MAXIMOFF.Wanda** : You two are adorable.

 **PARKER.Penelope.B:** Oh, no, we’re not, um, dating, I just thought …  you know, I wanted to help out. With the whole Dad-is-an-intrusive-jerk thing.

 **LAUFEYSON.Loki:** No, we are not dating at the moment.

 **PARKER.Penelope.B:** Loki!

 **MAXIMOFF.Wanda** : Oh, I see.

 **PARKER.Penelope.B:** What? What do you see? There’s nothing to see.

 **MAXIMOFF.Wanda** : Of course not. What do you see, Vision?

 **STARK.Vision:** I see two strong and beautiful young women and a man who has grown beyond expectations.

[silence]

 **MAXIMOFF.Wanda** : Aw, you are also adorable. I will accept that compliment with many thanks.

 **PARKER.Penelope.B:** [cough] Right, uh, thanks, Viz.

 **LAUFEYSON.Loki:** Allow me to perform my personal favorite summoning ritual of all time. Bacon engulfed in a floury roll! With the ketchup condiment!

 **PARKER.Penelope.B:** Ditto! What? A bacon burger sounds good.

 **MAXIMOFF.Wanda** : That is pork, yes? I will have a veggie burger.

 **STARK.Vision:** I will order the same. Though I need not eat, I may derive some pleasure from it.

[silence]

 **PARKER.Penelope.B:** You know it’s creepy when you stare at each other like that, right?

 **LAUFEYSON.Loki:** They are communing mentally. So much easier to avoid pesky mundane geniuses who are trying to eavesdrop when they aren’t wanted, isn’t that right?

 **MAXIMOFF.Wanda** : I am sorry, we’re being rude. I swear to you I will not look at your thoughts without your permission. Although you, Loki. I cannot see your thoughts at all, even by accident. Sometimes there are flashes of color and chaos which I do not understand. It frightens me.

 **LAUFEYSON.Loki:** [quietly]Silly girl. When something like that wakes inside you, you want to be careful. And instead you walk my routes. You’ll meet enough gods in your time, child. You should have hidden from me.

 **PARKER.Penelope.B:** Did you say something, Loki?

 **LAUFEYSON.Loki:** No, nothing.

 **STARK.Vision:** That may be the mind of a god. I find that other Asgardians are similarly overwhelming at times.

 **LAUFEYSON.Loki:** I know something else like that. Yggdrasil is color and chaos and overwhelming. [quietly] She is beautiful; perfect for date night.

 **MAXIMOFF.Wanda** : It sounds charming. Don’t you think, Penny?

 **PARKER.Penelope.B:** If you want to. We’re here for you, after all.

 **LAUFEYSON.Loki:** Let me show you … 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...my personal favorite summoning ritual of all time. Bacon engulfed in a floury roll! With the ketchup condiment!" is a direct quote from Young Avengers #2: DYS.


	8. Chapter 8

_ Should I leave you to your panic, Stark? All that you love willingly walked into my power. Be grateful that I am a magnanimous god. And also that Penny would kill me if I had tried to keep them. You heroes are such a violent lot! It hisses to the jumble of my story-soul and tells me I am not so incorrect to wish violence in return. _

_ -L _


	9. Chapter 9

** {STARKTECH SURVEILLANCE ACTIVE} **

[DEVICE ID - STARKPHONE.MAXIMOFF.Wanda]

[TIME ID - 42248.901011860]

[LOCATION ID - UNKNOWN - GPS UNAVAILABLE]

{{TRANSMISSION FAILURE}}

{{RECORDING}}

{{RETRY}}

{{TRANSMISSION FAILURE}}

{{RECORDING}}

{{RETRY}}

{{TRANSMISSION FAILURE}}

{{RECORDING}}

** LAUFEYSON.Loki:  ** Welcome, my friends, to Yggdrasil.

** PARKER.Penelope.B: ** Wow.

** STARK.Vision: ** Prince Loki, this is not an illusion. You have folded reality around us. Is this safe? Your powers are weak in this form. Can you bring us home?

** PARKER.Penelope.B: ** Wow.

** LAUFEYSON.Loki: ** I might need a little lie-down first.

** MAXIMOFF.Wanda ** : [quietly] Doing something stupid to show off for a girl? That I can understand.

** PARKER.Penelope.B: ** Wow. So this is, like, interdimensional space, but leafier? I love biophysics.

[Rustle]

** LAUFEYSON.Loki: ** It looks similar to the Bifrost, albeit more … green. Interdimensional space is always disorienting to limited-dimensional beings.

** PARKER.Penelope.B: ** Limited?

[rustling]

[web-thwap]

** LAUFEYSON.Loki: ** It shouldn't be dangerous for superheroes to spend half an hour looking around the Branches.

** UNKNOWN.Unknown: ** What mischief is this?


	10. Chapter 10

_ What would you do if I left them there, Stark? What COULD you do? The Foster woman has yet to dream of the abilities I encapsulate with the merest fold of my mind. If I wished to break you, you would have no recourse. _

_ -L _


	11. Ratatosk

** {STARKTECH SURVEILLANCE ACTIVE} **

[DEVICE ID - STARKPHONE.MAXIMOFF.Wanda]

[TIME ID - 42248.912354133]

[LOCATION ID - UNKNOWN - GPS UNAVAILABLE]

{{TRANSMISSION FAILURE}}

{{RECORDING}}

{{RETRY}}

{{TRANSMISSION FAILURE}}

{{RECORDING}}

{{RETRY}}

{{TRANSMISSION FAILURE}}

{{RECORDING}}

** UNKNOWN.Unknown: ** What mischief is this?

** LAUFEYSON.Loki:  ** Merely mild mischief, my friend. Fellow tourists, may I present Ratatosk the Squirrel, the Toothed One, Traveller of the Branches and Eater of the Roots. He is one of the attractions of the space between the Realms.

** PARKER.Penelope.B: ** Zee Oh Em Gee, you’re huge.

** RATATOSK.Squirrel.the:  ** I am no friend of yours, Trickster, though I need not be your enemy if you do not hinder me.

** LAUFEYSON.Loki:  ** That is indeed fortunate, for …  

** RATATOSK.Squirrel.the:  ** You think I would listen to the Silvertongue? Stand aside, withered seed of Odin. I have not yet done with travelling today.

** STARK.Vision: ** Your pardon, sir. We did not intend to hinder your travel; but perhaps you might be willing to aid us in our own travel.

** LAUFEYSON.Loki:  ** For a consideration!

** RATATOSK.Squirrel.the:  ** You. Do not speak. What do you offer me, Mindful One?

** STARK.Vision: ** I am the Vision, sir. Miss Maximoff and Miss Parker and I are not without powers to assist you in some way. You know Prince Loki’s skill.

** RATATOSK.Squirrel.the: ** [snort] I need water.

** STARK.Vision: ** It is odd to meet a traveller without water. I am certain we can produce some for you. Do the leaves of the Tree condensate as they do on Earth?

** RATATOSK.Squirrel.the: ** I need  _ specific _ water.

** LAUFEYSON.Loki:  ** He means that we need to meet destiny. What a bother.

** RATATOSK.Squirrel.the: ** [chitter] Did I say you could speak?

** PARKER.Penelope.B: ** Hey! He was just clarifying what you said! You could be less quick to assume Loki’s playing tricks. It’s not fair to hold a kid responsible for the actions of an adult.

** RATATOSK.Squirrel.the: ** There are many uses for the Waters of Fate. Bring me some that I may water the Roots, and I will carry you home.

** PARKER.Penelope.B: ** I’m not sure I want to do you a favor if you’re just going to insult Loki.

** LAUFEYSON.Loki:  ** My dear companions, it might be wise to keep our options open. If I cannot return us to Midgard and I cannot teach Lady Wanda to return us to Midgard, Sir Ratatosk is a relatively harmless third alternative.

** PARKER.Penelope.B: ** Sounds fair. I mean good. Sounds good.

** STARK.Vision: ** I agree.

** MAXIMOFF.Wanda:  ** You will be our ally in return for this water, Sir Ratatosk?

** RATATOSK.Squirrel.the: ** Find me when you have it.

** MAXIMOFF.Wanda:  ** Very well, if we encounter this water in our explorations, and can acquire it without harm to others, we will seek you out.

[wind]

[web thwaps]

** LAUFEYSON.Loki:  ** Wait for me, you three!

** MAXIMOFF.Wanda:  ** Come, Loki, we will carry you. We need you to show us the way, after all.


	12. Chapter 12

_ It’s all rather dull, isn’t it, Stark? Swinging along the branches of Yggdrasil with your daughter holding me tightly. One does not miss flight when one has such pleasant compensation. _

_ -L _


	13. Kinship

**{STARKTECH SURVEILLANCE ACTIVE}**

[DEVICE ID - STARKPHONE.MAXIMOFF.Wanda]

[TIME ID - 42248.961004441]

[LOCATION ID - UNKNOWN - GPS UNAVAILABLE]

{{TRANSMISSION FAILURE}}

{{RECORDING}}

{{RETRY}}

{{TRANSMISSION FAILURE}}

{{RECORDING}}

{{RETRY}}

{{TRANSMISSION FAILURE}}

{{RECORDING}}

 **STARK.Vision:** I fear he may decide to decomission me if he cannot retrieve JARVIS any other way. He will scarcely speak with me, yet he stares as if he hates me.

 **PARKER.Penelope.B:** Dad wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t just kill someone, especially not an innocent person!

 **STARK.Vision:** Does he see me as a person?

 **PARKER.Penelope.B:** I bet if you called him Grandpa, he’d have to. Of course, then he’ll start seeing you as a baby, but it’s better than killing you, right?

 **MAXIMOFF.Wanda** : Stark will not harm you while I am here to prevent it. I will not allow him to take more from me. This is fact. I will kill him first.

 **LAUFEYSON.Loki:** The will of a chaos witch against a lowly mortal engineer? I do not fancy his chances. You have a god on your side. Once upon a time, chaos and predetermination are at war.

 **MAXIMOFF.Wanda** : Are you claiming I’m predestined to meet you?

 **LAUFEYSON.Loki:** [laugh] Hardly! You and I, we defy destiny. These others stuck in their inability to decide anything but the tiniest of uncertainties, where we shape reality. We embody chaos.

 **MAXIMOFF.Wanda** : Don’t pretend I am your avatar.

 **LAUFEYSON.Loki:** No, you are something different. I would never poach where another has a claim. No one ever believes me when I tell the truth. You’ll have to find it out for yourself. Lack of certainty is the properly chaotic way to go about these conversations. Don’t you agree?

 **MAXIMOFF.Wanda** : I think you are avoiding talking with your nephew.

 **PARKER.Penelope.B:** Me?

 **MAXIMOFF.Wanda** : No, Loki. Vision claims JARVIS and Thor as parents, don’t you darling? And JARVIS and Thor both have siblings present.

 **STARK.Vision:** That is quite true, Uncle Loki. This makes Tony Stark your in-law.

 **LAUFEYSON.Loki:**  … 


	14. Chapter 14

_ Stark, I won’t talk about it if you won’t. _

_ -L _


	15. Preparation

**{STARKTECH SURVEILLANCE ACTIVE}**

[DEVICE ID - STARKPHONE.MAXIMOFF.Wanda]

[TIME ID - 42249.020139479]

[LOCATION ID - UNKNOWN - GPS UNAVAILABLE]

{{TRANSMISSION FAILURE}}

{{RECORDING}}

{{RETRY}}

{{TRANSMISSION FAILURE}}

{{RECORDING}}

{{RETRY}}

{{TRANSMISSION FAILURE}}

{{RECORDING}}

 **LAUFEYSON.Loki:** When we meet the Norns, be careful what you say. They won’t let me talk. Don’t let that worry you. They might not let you talk, either. You need only ignore it when I interrupt you and they interrupt me back.

 **STARK.Vision:** Prince Loki, we do not want to be accessories to one of your tricks.

 **LAUFEYSON.Loki:** It’s all a trick, Vision. Life is a trick. It’s a joke on us.There are infinite universes in which I died, but only a finite number in which I exist as I am now.

 **STARK.Vision:** You, as you are now, are infinitely improbable.

 **LAUFEYSON.Loki:** The Norns want control. They want to control everything, and they hate that which they do not control. What is the least controllable thing in all the Nine?

 **MAXIMOFF.Wanda** : [sigh] You?

 **LAUFEYSON.Loki:** Close!

 **MAXIMOFF.Wanda** : Us. Chaos.

 **PARKER.Penelope.B:** But chaos still has predictable patterns. I mean, you just said it yourself, you’re a finite set within an infinity. Why would the Norns hate that?

 **LAUFEYSON.Loki:** Why do scientists hate dividing by zero?

 **PARKER.Penelope.B:** I dunno, I kind of like dividing by zero. I like figuring out what it could mean if it did mean something.

 **LAUFEYSON.Loki:** Never mind, just believe me when I say that the closest thing Asgard has to scientists _do_ hate dividing by zero.

 **PARKER.Penelope.B:** How can you hate limit calculus? It’s so cool!  …  Not that I was ever able to explain that to Flash or anyone.

 **LAUFEYSON.Loki:** It’s not important! The thing that is important is that the Norns are like Flash, and hate me unreasonably.

 **PARKER.Penelope.B:** Well, Flash has a reason. It’s maybe not a good reason, but it’s there.

 **LAUFEYSON.Loki:** Arrggh.

 **MAXIMOFF.Wanda** : Penny, perhaps in the interests of time, we can consider the …  the nitpicks of the matter later, and listen to Loki’s plan first. Then if you disagree with his strategy and it actually has something to do with zero or Flash, we can discuss that.


	16. Chapter 16

_ I set up the Adams joke on purpose, but Penny missed it because she wasn’t paying attention. Stark, do me the favor of a reaction, that I might not feel it was entirely a wasted effort. _

_ -L _


	17. At Urd's Well

**{STARKTECH SURVEILLANCE ACTIVE}**

[DEVICE ID - STARKPHONE.MAXIMOFF.Wanda]

[TIME ID - 42249.067951245]

[LOCATION ID - UNKNOWN - GPS UNAVAILABLE]

{{TRANSMISSION FAILURE}}

{{RECORDING}}

{{RETRY}}

{{TRANSMISSION FAILURE}}

{{RECORDING}}

{{RETRY}}

{{TRANSMISSION FAILURE}}

{{RECORDING}}

**LAUFEYSON.Loki:** Ladies! Give you good morrow, and may I present … 

[thud]

**LAUFEYSON.Loki:** Ow!

[rustle]

[thud]

**UNKNOWN.Unknown:** We know your companions, Liesmith.

**PARKER.Penelope.B:** Loki! Hey, you didn't have to throw him like that. He could have been hurt. I'm coming down to get you, Loki.

**LAUFEYSON.Loki:** [groan] Much … appreciated … Penny.

**UNKNOWN.Unknown:** Child, you meddle with that which does not concern you.

**STARK.Vision:** The fate of Yggdrasil concerns us all, Ancient One. For the moment, however, we seek to return to Earth, which you call Midgard.

**UNKNOWN.Unknown:** The pathway to the universe. Do not open the ways so wide by coming here, Mindful One. Also, you are mistaken. My sister, Skuld, is the Ancient One. I am Urd, the Youth.

**MAXIMOFF.Wanda** : I think the Mindful One may travel Yggdrasil if he wishes. We accept there may be consequences.

**URD.the.Youth:** Daughter of Chaos, it is not in your nature to understand the consequences. You are allied with the Liesmith. We do not and will not trust you.

**MAXIMOFF.Wanda** : We are allied with Penny, who is honorable, and who wishes to give Loki the benefit of the doubt. If you know anything, you know that Penny will give her life to try to do the right thing. Here, the right thing is to aid a child. I know you do not know whether he remembers his past incarnation.

**URD.the.Youth:** It matters not. He is still bound by fate.

**MAXIMOFF.Wanda** : That is not the problem. Your problem is that he is _not_ bound by fate, even less than I am.

**URD.the.Youth:** [laughs] You know nothing. When you learn the truth, do not return here. You, child, what are you doing?

**PARKER.Penelope.B:** Just looking. Isn’t it supposed to be wisdom? Like, runes, or how to do magic, or Fermat’s last theorem?

**URD.the.Youth:** Move away from my well.

**PARKER.Penelope.B:** Fine, fine. You don’t need to worry. I wasn’t going to touch without permission.

**LAUFEYSON.Loki:** By Odin's eye, Penny, you're a horrible liar.

**PARKER.Penelope.B:** What? Well, I wasn’t!

**LAUFEYSON.Loki:** [quietly] Keep this, Penny, and don't let them frisk you.

**URD.the.Youth:** Don’t try. I can feel when any touch my well water.

**LAUFEYSON.Loki:** [quietly] Well, any over whom she has power.

**URD.the.Youth:** Move along, children. I will be watching.

**LAUFEYSON.Loki:** So nice to see you again, Lady Urd!

**PARKER.Penelope.B:** Yeah … 

**URD.the.Youth:** Wait. Liesmith, what have you done?

**LAUFEYSON.Loki:** A fascinating paradox, don’t you agree, Lady Urd? Was the trick before, or is it now? Can you afford to let me go? Can you afford to have me stay? Are you playing into my scheme merely by asking the question? That tickles!

[thwap]

**PARKER.Penelope.B:** Loki, stop antagonizing people on purpose. That’s the polar opposite of pretending to be polite. Sorry, Urd, uh, Lady Urd. I think some people just have to sabotage themselves, you know?

**MAXIMOFF.Wanda** : We go now. You need not see us to the gate. It would be interesting to see, would it not, what happens if you try to hold us against our wills? Chaos and Mind and Fate, all on this fragile branch of Yggdrasil by your precious well.

**URD.the.Youth:** [spit] Go and do not return, Daughter of Chaos.


	18. Chapter 18

**{STARKTECH SURVEILLANCE ACTIVE}**

[DEVICE ID - STARKPHONE.MAXIMOFF.Wanda]

[TIME ID - 42249.079187938]

[LOCATION ID - UNKNOWN - GPS UNAVAILABLE]

{{TRANSMISSION FAILURE}}

{{RECORDING}}

{{RETRY}}

{{TRANSMISSION FAILURE}}

{{RECORDING}}

{{RETRY}}

{{TRANSMISSION FAILURE}}

{{RECORDING}}

**MAXIMOFF.Wanda** : Do we now find Ratatosk again? Only I have hunger. I become hungry?

**PARKER.Penelope.B:** Yeah, I’m getting hungry, too.

**LAUFEYSON.Loki:** Ratatosk is probably downhill this time, although if I wait a little I can handle the travel myself. Would I rather save the power or keep the water?

**STARK.Vision:** You are not seeking a way to have both?

**PARKER.Penelope.B:** I have a question about the water. And Fermat’s last theorem.

**LAUFEYSON.Loki:** You cannot choose what the water will show you.

**PARKER.Penelope.B:** But it would be worth it anyway, right?

**LAUFEYSON.Loki:** It will be proportionate to what you sacrificed for the knowledge.

**PARKER.Penelope.B:** Oh. Well, I didn’t sacrifice much of anything, did I? You got a couple of bruises.

**LAUFEYSON.Loki:** You never know what the water might consider worthwhile. Once upon a time, I flung a frost berry into the well’s depths. Verdandi may have attempted to have some words with me upon discovery. A moment!

[silence]

**MAXIMOFF.Wanda** : What?

**LAUFEYSON.Loki:** Do you not hear?

[silence]

**PARKER.Penelope.B:** What?

**LAUFEYSON.Loki:** It is the susurration of that certain satisfaction which results from … I have enough power.

**MAXIMOFF.Wanda** : You mean to say, now you can take us home?

**LAUFEYSON.Loki:** Enough power to do just about anything.


	19. Chapter 19

_Were you worried, Stark? Did you fear for the safety of your infants when your device ceased to transmit our words?_

_Or perhaps you fear more the day when all four of us call you ‘Father.’_

_-L_


	20. Chapter 20

[DEVICE ID - STARKPHONE.MAXIMOFF.Wanda]

[TIME ID - ERROR]

{{RETRY}}

[TIME ID - 42248.901011861]

[LOCATION ID - DANDY’S COFFEE]

{{TRANSMITTING}}

[background music: ]

** LAUFEYSON.Loki: ** We return at the time fated for our feast!

** PARKER.Penelope.B: ** Excellent! The burgers aren’t even cold.

** STARK.Vision: ** What is that in your hand? Is it why you showed us Urd’s Well?

** LAUFEYSON.Loki: ** It’s nothing.

{{TRANSMISSION FAILURE}}

[DEVICE ID - STARKPHONE.MAXIMOFF.Wanda]

[TIME ID - ]

[LOCATION ID - ]

** {STARKTECH SURVEILLANCE END} **


	21. Chapter 21

_ I hope your fears are numbed somewhat, Stark. Your chicks are safe from me. The witch, on the other hand, already takes your meddling ill. What would she venture, did I comment — the merest comment! — on your own past villainy? She knows where your heart lies. You have damaged ours enough. _

_ -L _


	22. Chapter 22

Tony, considerate people do not hack their teammates phones to spy on them. Do you realize how much worse it is to violate their privacy in this way? It will be a moderate to severe disaster when they find out, and they will find out, since at least two of them are mind readers. If Wanda goes villain again because of all this, it’s on you. Worse, what if Penny goes villain? You clearly have no idea how teenagers brains work. You’re going to alienate Vision, too, at this rate.

Do you realize how much worse this could have been if Friday hadn’t shown this to me and you had committed to keeping it a secret, when Loki already knows? Please don’t give him that kind of leverage over you. Don’t wait to tell the others until Loki gives you no choice.

I love you, but I am so disappointed.

Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s it for this fic. It was just supposed to be a few notions thrown together within the context of _Paternity Problems_ , so nothing gets resolved; we just see part of one evening.


End file.
